A dictionary/glossary/lexicon as sort of a cosmic, meeting of the minds, collaboration of the likes of Dan Webster, Sam Johnson, Ambrose Bierce, Hunter S. Thompson, Wm. F. Buckley, Grouch Marx, W. C. Fields and many more... even though its editors are obscure unknowns with dreadfully dangerous senses of humor. WARNING: This website may contain some slightly adult content - get parental viewing approval if you are 18 or under!
Chayota or Chaota: http://bit.ly/bkNWRX The unfortunate conflation of Chaos and Toyota (Motors)...The Japanese art of suicide by automobile... With regards to the current media circus surrounding Toyota and its record number of (mainly safety-related) recalls and Congressional Hearings with Henry Waxman and Akio Toyoda and tearful testimonies such as that of Rhonda Smith...and Oy Vey! Not to mention that the Toyota Scientific and Engineering and Maintenance Departments being in total chaos - every garage and every bay and every laboratory available is probably in 24/7 use right now ripping the sh*t out of the millions of vehicles in question. *Japanese engineers and other employees once famous for being overworked probably now seriously contemplating seppuku during this massive fiasco. Chaos.
Actually, speaking from experience from the working side of American automotive companies, we have genuine sympathy and empathy for the hell that the poor b*st*rds at Toyota are going through right now as we witness and write about this. If we could, we'd be working right there with them, side-by-side. It is just that awful. This is the Haiti and Tsunami 2004 of industry combined...even worse, figuratively of course... Well, at least James Lentz and his colleagues haven't taken to leaping out of the highest floor of the Toyota HQ - at least not just yet...
*Actually, we're going to speculate on the real root cause of this issue - the layoff or non-hiring of the necessary engineers and scientists...sorry to say...
Tiger Apology: So, Tiger will be making a public apology today. No questions please! Looks like he'll finally be exercising a little ball control. Should have kept his eye on that ball... OW! Giggity! All right...
What does he have in common with Sarah Palin? Well, he'll be using his hands a lot and controlling the media... OW!
Paradix or Dickundrum: The unfortunate conflations of Dick Cheney with paradox and conundrum. Any politico apparently openly confessing to the application of extrajudicial and (therefore) illogical measures to any alleged war criminal or terrorist or other similar persons. The obvious corollary being that application of same disproves the very argument presented by said proponent by virtue of implication of similar war crimes or other extrajudicial measure. QED.
Slowzer or Endzer: The unfortunate conflation of slow or "End Now" with browser. What happens to your online experience when IE decides to take a nap or gives you the infamous "End Now Program Not Responding" BS panel. Of course, MS has issued one of their infamous "patches" but that doesn't seem to work... Yes, yes we know we should go with FireFox but thats not our choice to make...
Lithium Tantalate or LiTaO3: Not a new term, chemical or material. But exciting piezoelectric useful for freezing water via heating or producing a beam of neutrons. Weapons potential? Unknown as yet...
602 or Captain 602: Suggested citizen code* for anything having to do with being against the Tea Party, Sarah Palin, LBGT and/or Racism. From the controversy revolving around Captain America Issue 602.
CrimeSofties or JimHuggers: The apparent paradoxical position of certain conservative pundits and politicos who seemingly embrace the now-discredited James O'Keefe post-NixonianLandrieu-Gate attempted break-in and attempted illegal wiretap.
Twitterific!: Unfortunate portmanteau of Twitter and terrific. What you tell your 'tweeps' when they ask how you're doing but you don't feel that great about things...ehhh, not so much...
Prison tattoo machine imagelicensed under Creative Commons by Stan7826 Best Meg Episode Ever!: OK, OK, we're a bit concerned on this one - and the term is an obvious reference to the Simpson's Comic Book Store Character Guy ("Jeff Albertson") - apologies for the cross-cultural reference. Which is another cross-cultural reference as Peter decides to join the visiting Rodeo (complete with human hog-tieing and branding!...ugh...), Meg falls in love with her convict pen-pal and eventually becomes a con/ex-con herself with violently hilarious consequences. Once released from prison (complete with 'tats'), Meg automatically makes everyone in the Griffin household her "b*tch". To which Stewie meekly responds in the affirmative. At various points in this over-the-top nauseating narrative, Meg proceeds to assault (off-camera) her own father in the shower with a loofah, assalts her mother's senses by keeping a 'poop bucket' in her bedroom ...("this way I don't have to get up and go to the bathroom all the time"...) and assaults her bete noirConnie d'Amico and her entire clique with a homemade weapon - a sack of (full) soda pop cans and then delivers the coup d'grace to Connie - a bite-the-tongue-off-kiss ala Midnight Express. Well, being fans of Bronson, we could see the sack-full-of-cans-cum-homemade-weapon assault coming - ("may I have two rolls of quarters please?"). And then the gun violence kicks in... At the climax, Brian turns Meg with his delightfully sweet and sappy article which he wrote for Teen People(?). How do they morph comedy into such horrific violence and still manage to stay on the air? Oh, that's right...Fox...
Not to be missed: The Nascar In China in joke...excellent poor taste.
In case you missed it, one of our tweets was mentioned on The Twitter Report on MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann. We were thrilled that they chose it. Please see the video embed below.
Again, Fair Use of the video embed is claimed for humorous self-reference. We thought Keith did a very humorous on-air performance after the tweet (acting as though our avatar is President James Garfield).
Fair Use of Video Claimed for Humorous Self Reference
Hello, if you keep up with The Anti-Zen Dictionary, you probably noticed a strange new twist to it. That is because we have experienced a sudden burst of creativity and we are writing a novel set in the year 3084 called The China Party. Unsure of where to put some of the new definitions being used in the novel we decided to put them in our Dictionary. We apologize for any inconvenience. Hope you find it interesting.
Lives of the Lexicographers
Samuel Johnson: (Updated: Monday, May 18, 2009). Recently checked out of our local library: Samuel Johnson - The Struggle by Jeffrey Meyers. The prolific Mr. Meyers outdoes himself right in the introduction and zaps us with a very intimate glimpse into the sex life of the great Samuel Johnson. Some very florid comments and great pathos by Samuel Johnson are reported almost right at the start. Well, he's still our hero. We're still wading through this 500+ page tome - but it is keeping our interest. Not for the 18 and under crowd - the language is a little too graphic and a little too suggestive, at times.But, we think it is worth the cover price ($ 35.00) of purchase if you are into Johnson or great biographies. However, we do suggest checking it out at your library or purchasing a second-hand copy. Caveat emptor - we offer no guarantees - it may not be worth your purposes! Of course, if you're into Johnson, biographies, literature, intellectualism or even pseudo-intellectualism (like us! - actually our senior editor has an IQ of 131, but we digress...) you don't need the hyperlinks. Our apologies. Also, we have not read Boswell'sLife of Johnson! If you care to donate us a copy, please do and we'll review it here and credit your donation if you wish.
More: Sam began his academic career at Oxford. Unfortunately - in that time period - Oxford had an abysmal reputation for teaching. Even the great Edward Gibbon (possibly the greatest author of his day) left this institution after one year. Most students used tutors, but even these were inadequate at times.
Physical/Medical Indications: Due to his wild gesticulations and mannerisms, Sam may have suffered from Tourette Syndrome. Even so, though this repulsed most other folk, it seemed to make the author/playwright Frances Burney adore him all the more. For an image of a bust of Sam Johnson, link here. For image of a statue of Sam, link here. Johnson was well known for his physical prowess (for example, his horsemanship) and his physical power. Not one to take insults or sarcasms lightly, Johnson was reputed to have knocked over his adversaries or even to have delivered severe beatings upon them (if he felt they were deserving of it...)
Other women: Hester Thrale. He did have an extraordinary 18 year relationship with a married woman.
Rating of this biography: Excellent. We believe the book deserves this rating (or any biography that causes this sensation) because we felt as though we had lived with the man himself.
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