WikiRapes

Swedish Police Woman Image licensed under Creative Commons by ThisParticularGreg

WikiRapes: The VERY unfortunate and rather cynical conflation of WikiLeaks and rape/s or the (repeated) charges of rape/s....  Seems like Sweden (or Julian, ooohhhh...sorry about that!) just can't get enough of serious sex offenses and their related charges of same...

Hugo: Oh, dear God help us, we are going to hell...  AZD: No we're not!  Doesn't it seem like every time he (Julian) charges the USA with some nefarious activity that Sweden charges him with rape?  Hugo: Hmmm...could be a connection there...

FOM: Sweden Reopens WikiLeaks Founder Rape Investigation (from REUTERS News Agency), WikiLeaks Rape Inquiry Reopened (BBC News), False Charges Made Against Mr. Assange? and CIA Memo on USA Exporting Terrorism (from WikiLeaks). 


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Secure Redaction

Redacted Document image licensed under Creative Commons by jon.bell

Secure Redaction: So you thought you deleted that sensitive or possibly embarrassing information from your documents (WORD and PDFs)?  But, the NSA says you may not have.  You may have left traces of the sensitive information in your 'redacted document'.  Yes, they wrote a brief manual on a suggested procedure.  You can link to it here: http://wikileaks.org/w/images/7/75/NSA-redact.pdf

Please note: We found this interesting document while searching for the 'uncrackable insurance file' on Wikileaks.  This appears to be the link to the mysterious insurance file.


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Snorting McChrystal?

Snorting McChrystal (or) Snorting Rolling Stones?





Updated: Saturday, August 21, 2010*



OK, the whole media world is talking about the sucker coup of Wikileaks (Bravo for them!) and their revelatory Afghan War Diaries leak/s.






The leak took place on or about July 25, 2010. And blame or responsibility has already been assigned to some, sorry to say, low-level US military personnel. A-Hem! Excuse us! Did everybody miss something here? Including The Daily Show and The Colbert Report?






What are we talking about? Hellooooo.... Didn't the US/ISAF General in Charge of the Afghanistan Operations/War just get sent down the tubes about one month ago? Speaking of tubes, is everybody in the media snorting "McChrystal" or some other finely powdered crystalline Class I narcotic? (Sorry, we apologize for the drug/humor reference/s, we know it is in poor taste).






Why did everybody else miss this? Does the world have ADHD? Is Mr. Derp now running Fox News?






Not to mention, therefore, isn't this all a result of that sh*tty tirade reported by Rolling Stone just this summer/spring? You be the judge.






What else is funky about this relationship? We're not saying the general had anything to do with the leaks, but the events are pretty closely related in time. A little too close.






And, when some top guy goes down for something - they sometimes like to leave behind a little 'Position Paper' on where their major activities stood prior to their departure? Is this all starting to sound familiar? Helloooo...






Does anybody remember Abu Ghraib and what happened to all the low-level torture clowns involved there - and then the commanding officer. You do remember the sequence of events in that scandal, right? Ahhh, we detect the odor of the same order of sequence here...






Not to mention, we did have a look at the reports that appear on the Wikileaks website. No, we haven't had time to read all of them. We're still sorting through the Pentagon Papers for G*d's Sakes! But, it is starting to look like the Pakistan-Taliban-US$ connection might be a little overblown. Only 4 known reports appear in the journal concerning finance from Pakistan or anywhere. As far as "hits" (assassinations) go, those were probably in all likelihood funded by the Taliban (with money from Pakistan or from poppy money - its hard to say for sure...). There were something like 48 reports on hits.






We have distilled some of the more "important" categories of reports from the Diaries and listed them below. Approach with caution. We did this in case Wikileaks runs out of funds (again) or gets mysteriously shut down and disappears... Meanwhile, our list, enjoy...










Oh, and something else, nothing shows you are winning the war like the number of enemy surrenders. Ahem, we have FOUR of them. Oh, and reported Food Distributions and Counter-Terrorism attack numbers were also weak; 4 and 1. ONE counter-terrorism attack? That "War on Terror" is going really swell isn't it Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney?



(Oh, don't get us wrong - we love our troops and support those that do honorable service and some not so much, too).

Number of Assassinations reported in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 48



http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/assassination_0.html







Number of Attacks reported in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 2283


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/attack_0.html







Number of Ambushes reported in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 538


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/ambush_0.html







Number of Counterterrorism Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 1


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/counter_terrorism_0.html







Number of Drug Operations Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 8


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/drug_operation_0.html







Number of (Enemy) Finance Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 4


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/finance_0.html







Number of Food Distributions Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 4


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/food_distribution_0.html







Number of IED Ambush Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 350


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/ied_ambush_0.html







Number of IED Explosions Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 7202


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/ied_explosion_0.html







Number of IED Found/Cleared Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 8581


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/ied_found_cleared_0.html







Number of Mines Found/Cleared Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 396


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/mine_found_cleared_0.html







Number of Mine Strikes Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 321


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/mine_strike_0.html







Number of Murder Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 100


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/murder_0.html







Number of Willing Recruitments detained Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 1


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/recruitment_willing__0.html







Number of Poisonings Reports (attempted) in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 1


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/poisoning_0.html







Number of Enemy Sabotage Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 6


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/sabotage_0.html







Number of Enemy/Unknown Surrenders Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 4


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/surrendering_0.html





Please note: This posting appears simultaneously on our sister publication The American Political Handbook

*FOM: False Charges Made Against Mr. Assange?



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George Won't

* Fair Use of image is claimed for reference purposes and criticism

George Won't: Is an obvious word play/antonym on the name of the writer that Keith Olbermann strongly criticized on Countdown on MSNBC last night, Monday, June 28, 2010.  We would like to tell Mr. Won't that the GOP Republican plan to block unemployment and other benefits and extensions of the same has been enormously effective.  I can tell you from personal experience that I currently live in bone-grinding poverty - right here in the good ol' USA Mr. Won't - as a result of corrupt and morally bankrupt GOP/Republican policies, programs, pugnaciouness and general obstinacy coupled with insanity.

Yes, thanks to you and your ilk Mr. Won't, I haven't been receiving unemployment benefits nor Medicaid for the past 22 months.  Congratulations! You and your ilk have driven me and ten million others like me into abject poverty!  It is wonderful living on food stamps and being denied health care and other benefits and monies.  If I desperately need something, I have to contact the local church for charity.  The first time I did this (last year) I was given all of one hundred dollars in gift cards.  The second time I requested charity (this winter) I was given all of forty five dollars in gift cards.  Do you know what it's like living on $ 200/month on food stamps and $ 145 in gift cards for almost two years Mr. Won't?  I'll bet you don't have a clue.  But, it is obvious that that part goes without saying.

Oh, what's that Mr. Won't, I should find a job?  Well, happily, I have.  I now work as a freelance copywriter - which puts me in the same profession as you, Mr. Won't.  That means I can compete with the world market for writing jobs that pay about 50 cents/hour - once you calculate the research, the rewrites and the chasing around payments for money.  Why that is only six or seven dollars shy of minimum wage!  Why can't I make minimum wage?  Because I can't even find a job here in the USA at that high a level of income.  So I have to take my 50 cents an hour - if I can even find that.  What makes it worse, Mr. Won't, is that your ideologies have forced your fellow writers into making that kind of wage.

Here's something else.  The writing work that I do is called "SEO" - the so-called Search Engine Optimization.  This means that the texts I write and get published are put on the internet and compete with all the other legitimate and otherwise sources of information on the internet.  I have been successful at this, one of my articles came up as a "4th Page Ranking" when you search for the keyword.  So, thanks to you and the GOP/Republican policies, I have to write SEO articles that might have an even higher page ranking than the topics you could be googling.  And I am not alone, thanks to people like you in your profession of writing, millions of them are posting this "information" on the internet.  Which slows down the search engines and the original stuff you were trying to look up.

The upshot of all this, Mr. Won't, is that your forced labor at costs of 50 cents/hour is creating writers and more SEO writings that jam up the internet when you search for something.  If your policies and opinions keep prevailing, soon you'll have to take all day to find that one article you were really searching for on the internet.  That's what you wanted, isn't it Mr. Won't?

* Reference: MSNBC's Countdown/KeithOlbermann's Comment Monday, June 28, 2010

FOM: FED Officials See High Unemployment for Years to Come (Reuters) and How Welfare Cuts Can Cost Lives (Reuters)


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yPad or WhyPad

Image licensed under Creative Commons by d!zzy

yPad or WhyPad: Facetious suggested nickname for the first version of the Apple iPad - socalled due to the WiFi connection issues for some of the new owners.  Also with reference to the apparent near total lack of physical connectors.  Indeed, if you can't connect this device one way or the other - why buy one???

FOM: Connection Issues Still Vex iPad Users and Official Site

Please Note: Not that we could ever be bribed should Apple ever give us an iPad then this definition might disap...



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Turdblossom in the GOPunchbowl

Image from Amazon.com

Turdblossom in the GOPunchbowl: http://bit.ly/aw3yQl With reference to the recent book by Karl Rove combined with the old saw about "That went over like a turd in the punchbowl".   Example: G. W. Bush to Diary - 'Looks like Rove put a Turdblossom in the GOPunchbowl.  Hey!  I kind of like that!  Heheheh...'  Also with reference to the lack of finding of WMD's and the plans for war...buy the book...  And yet another former staffer rats out the Bushies...

FOM: Karl Rove  , Courage and Consequence: My Life as a Conservative in the Fight and What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception by Scott McClellan



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Tiger Apology

Image licensed under Creative Commons by mugofcoffe

Tiger Apology: So, Tiger will be making a public apology today.  No questions please!  Looks like he'll finally be exercising a little ball control.  Should have kept his eye on that ball...  OW!  Giggity!  All right...

What does he have in common with Sarah Palin?  Well, he'll be using his hands a lot and controlling the media...  OW!

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/doU5Dq

FOM: Tiger Woods set to break silence, Repentant Woods sorry for affairs and Save The Tiger (Blog Post not the film...)

Revised/Updated: Friday, February 19, 2010



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Acipenser transmontanus

Image licensed under Creative Commons by SFBoater

Acipenser transmontanus: Biggest fish (the white sturgeon) in North America - soon to be extinct?


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/6rw6RU

FOM: N. America's biggest fish slips toward extinction









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Irukandji

Image licensed under Creative Commons by ultrahi

Irukandji: Deadly poisonous jellyfish from Downunder. That chap with 'best job in the world' managed to get stung by one on his last week on the job. Ouch! Not the best way to close that job... You still with us, Ben???


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/6cvqW1


FOM: 'World's best job' man is stung









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Morgan Freeman World

* Image licensed under Creative Commons by Thorsten Becker

Morgan Freeman World: It has been ironically pointed out that even in a world inhabited solely by Morgan Freemans, there is still a hierarchy. A concept we found difficult - and strangely frightening - to grasp at first.


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/5l2TtF


FOM: Somebody Just Made a Morgan Freeman Chain of Command, Multiverse and OMG Trend.

* #Strange: We had to hashtag this as Mr. Becker uses the URL http://www.flickr.com/photos/alternatewords/. Strange.









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My Webwill

Digital Graveyard image licensed under Creative Commons by ario_

My Webwill: What will happen to all of your virtual stuff after you know...assume room temp and go to the big CPU for permanent deletion? This new website will handle that for you. (Its so new, we haven't yet found it on the web...)... Correction: Webwill on Twitter found it for us. http://www.mywebwill.se/


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/63Q3QS


FOM: Service performs your last online wishes


Revised/Updated: Friday, December 11, 2009






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Where Does My Money Go? (Website)

Where Does My Money Go? (Website - Prototype): A transparency website like this should be available to all citizens in all democracies and republics. This particular website is currently being prototyped in the UK. Should be available in the US, its territories, Canada, France, Germany - you get the idea.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/52uS2s

FOM: Web to watch government spending and Where Does My Money Go Website (prototype)







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Wrap Rage

Image licensed under Creative Commons by raindog

Wrap Rage: Not a term of our making, but beware this holiday season. There are scientific reasons to be concerned about potential injuries incurred while (un)wrapping one's presents!

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/8HHhUo

FOM: Wrap Rage: A Holiday Injury Waiting to Happen

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Tiger Harem?

Image (Visual Pun) licensed under Creative Commons by Julep67


Tiger Harem?: A-Hem! We couldn't resist this one, normally its our inclination to resist celebrity news, but when it involves 'the-greatest-athlete-in-the-world-playing-today' well... Seems our man in question has unearthed a whole slew of easily-swayed misanthropes. Oh no, we're going to hell... This one keeps snowballing, errr...golfballing... (Ugh! We just looked up the definitions of the 1st term in Wikipedia. Ack...). No, no, we didn't mean it that way! See the photo, see the photo!

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/4TeGtA





FOM: Letterman Jokes Tiger Is Asking for Advice , Scoop: Legion of Woods’ alleged ladies growing , Tiger Woods Scandal Pictures: Exclusive , Jamiee Grubbs Photos You Haven't Seen, Meds Involved in Tiger Woods Accident?, Tiger Gets Bogeyed, SNL Tiger Woods Incident and ‘SNL’ can’t resist Tiger Woods jokes

Updated/Revised: Tuesday, December 8, 2009

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Tiger Gets Bogeyed

Tiger Gets Bogeyed: The week provided more delicious material for classic SNL 12/05/09. Kenan plays the Tiger-as-straight-guy-turned-into-dupe-victim-of-his-cuckquean-wife to a tee. Complete with bandaids, slings, treadmarks, golf-club-wrapped-around-head and silent pleas for help hastily scrawled on the back of his "prepared statement". The only things missing? A bear trap and more 'skidmarks'.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/7tsj5M

FOM: Letterman Jokes Tiger Is Asking for Advice , SNL Tiger Woods Incident and ‘SNL’ can’t resist Tiger Woods jokes


Updated/Revised: Tuesday, December 8, 2009





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First Church of Tiger Woods

"Bogey" image licensed under Creative Commons yewenyi

First Church of Tiger Woods: Has disbanded... What else to do when your God allegedly commits adultery?

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/5hjUIH

FOM: The First Church of Tiger Woods decides to disband and First Church of Tiger Woods

Sorry, about the image, but it should be an obvious verbal pun...

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Twitter...

Twitter: (Can be) a quiet, intellectual conversation… or NOT!!!

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/5yqp2E

FOM: Twitter Declared Most Popular English Word of 2009





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Exopedia or Truncopedia

Exopedia / Truncopedia: The unfortunate portmanteau of exodus or truncated and Wikipedia. Suggested renaming of our favorite online encyclopedia based on the rumored (?) mass exit of its editors.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/5xJ0ip

FOM: Wikipedia denies editors' exodus





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Big Beer or Old Whisky

Image licensed under Creative Commons by ayustety


Big Beer or Old Whisky: (1) 100 year old whisky left over by Ernest Shackleton and crew to be dug up in Antarctica. (2) Opposite of 'Small Beer'. (3) A rare, exceptional beverage or find. (4) Not a trifle nor trifling to obtain. [Send us a bottle if you can, please. (Yes, we're over 21)].


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/IWE7w


FOM: Shackleton's whisky to be dug up









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The Best Worst Job in the World

The Best Worst Job in the World: Our senior editor has not had a "regular job" in several months - due to several issues. And disqualified for UI benefits, his single source of income is the $ 7.71 he's gathered in revenue on AdSense. (Of course, Google doesn't pay until you hit the $100 milepost, and then there's fees and all that. That's why he calls this the best worst job in the world. We just tell him he's mildly retarded...

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/4EGqmt





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