A dictionary/glossary/lexicon as sort of a cosmic, meeting of the minds, collaboration of the likes of Dan Webster, Sam Johnson, Ambrose Bierce, Hunter S. Thompson, Wm. F. Buckley, Grouch Marx, W. C. Fields and many more... even though its editors are obscure unknowns with dreadfully dangerous senses of humor. WARNING: This website may contain some slightly adult content - get parental viewing approval if you are 18 or under!

Showing posts with label h. Show all posts
Showing posts with label h. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Passage of our Editor's Father

Image MRSA Culture licensed under Creative Commons by Simon Goldenberg

The Passage of our Senior Editor's Father: Though not a true dictionary entry, we thought we should make note of the passage of our Senior Editor's father.  George James passed away on Sunday December 19, 2010 (though the COD says Monday December 20, 2010) and he was just 76 years young.  Though an autopsy would have been requested by our editor, the rest of his family passed on it without asking his opinion (!). 

At the time, GJ had been suffering from two pneumonias (Serratia and Pseudomonas) as well as the now dreaded MRSA!  Although Dad seemed to have responded successfully to treatments with massive doses of Vancomycin and 5 days treatment with Tobramycin.  He was eventually discharged from his 4th hospital stay and housed in a very good medical facility.  Unfortunately, the MRSA must have entered his bloodstream on or about the 19th as our editor found GJ foaming badly at the mouth - which appears to have meant that his organs were shutting down. 

His father responded positively to a request for an ambulance (which he never does!) and the ambulance came and took him away on a portable ventilator.  GJ was placed on a CPAP Ventilator once in the trauma room and remained so in the ICU.  No amount of 'pressors' could have preserved him as he appeared to be in complete shutdown - though our editor hoped desperately and tearfully otherwise.  He probably had no conscious mind nor spirit during this time and passed on probably that day.  Which is why an autopsy may have been helpful (or not).  Perhaps it could have positively identified MRSA in the bloodstream at that time - or not...

Looking back over the previous events, two of GJ's doctors at two of his previous hospital stays had predicted his death within a short while - possibly months.  Which came true just before this Christmas...

FOM: Medical Odyssey/Hospital Nomad

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Monday, November 22, 2010

Hospital Nomad / Medical Odyssey

Image licensed under Creative Commons by TCDC Media

Hospital Nomad / Medical Odyssey:  It is hoped that this posting/definition will give you some insight as to where we have been just over the past 2 months. Our Senior Editor's 70+ years young father took very sick in early September and had to be whisked away to an emergency room.  He was having severe nausea and chronic vomiting (guess who got to clean the bucket?...) for a period of over 24+ hours.  Having suffered this way, he finally asked for medical care - and got it that day. 

Our Senior Editor and his father found out that he had a partial bowel obstruction - along with several other chronic medical conditions.  A naso-gastric tube was installed & removed about 1500 ml. of dark bile over a period of 30+ hours - thus avoiding surgery.  The recovery in the hospital took about 6 days.  Plus, we also found that Dad had lost his core/trunk strength (he had displayed some kyphosis earlier in April), leg strength, became dysphagic and was declared NPO.  Dad has basically been a bed-bound invalid, unable to swallow, since this time.  We will refer to this hospital as HSJ.

A swallow evaluation/study was done on Dad in their fluoroscopy dept. which determined that he aspirated when swallowing.  Even worse, he displayed no symptoms (asymptomatic).  Thus, he might have been dysphagic for a long time without even knowing it.  He has the possibility of contracting aspiration pneumonia if he attempts to swallow anything - which could even be lethal.

Thus was the beginning of Dad's medical odyssey.  Our Senior Editor and his brother being so concerned (this is their last living parent) that our Editor slept over many, many nights in more than one hospital with his father.  Thus giving rise to the term Hospital Nomad.  In the periods between hospitalization, Dad has spent three separate occasions in Medical Skilled Care Rehabilitation Centers as required by Medicare.  The long and short of it is that our Senior Editor has spent 63 of the last 65 days or so in the hospitals and Rehab Centers with his sick, invalid father during this medical odyssey.  His father is currently staying at his fourth hospital in this time.

A special warning to all who may have a similar situation existing or arising with a loved one.  If you see your elders in decline you may wish to visit their primary care physician with them and discuss the option of in-home rehabilitation before you reach this state of affairs.  One of the undiscussed (?) issues with Rehabilitation Centers and similar communities is the potential for infection by communicable organisms/pathogens/microbes shared by that community.  Each time Dad was sent to one of these centers he developed pneumonia or MRSA

Early in November/late October, he developed pneumonia due to a species of Serratia.  Fortunately our senior editor was present when he began to sink and kept requesting an ambulance.  When Dad stopped talking, they finally called for Rapid Response.  When in hospital, you can usually request Rapid Response by dialling 141.  See your hospital staff for instructions before you panic and need this service - it can be a life saver

As it turned out, Dad 'coded' in the emergency room at a different, nearby hospital ('HSM').  There appeared to be only respiratory arrest - no cardiac arrest - but stopped breathing all the same.  Dad was then intubated, heavily sedated and put on a ventilator.  The ER team at HSM basically saved his life - for which our Editor nominated them for a recognition award.  The Rapid Response team remained in the ER room during the entire revival.  It was quite a moving experience.  But, our Senior Editor's father looked like one of those horrible rubber dummies in a horror movie and our Editor was about to freak out. 

He was eventually transferred to Intensive Care where he remained on the ventilator for about a day.  He coded again the next day and had to be placed on a ventilator again.  The IC team was excellent and they were also nominated for a recognition award.  Dad was eventually transferred to the hospital - for 13 days

He qualified for a specialty rehabilitation hospital where he may receive constant hospital care along with therapy for as long as they feel fit.  He is visited almost daily by the doctor, an RN and other professional staff.  Unfortunately, he acquired MRSA in his sputum and lungs at the start of this go-round.   Which is quite fearsome, as MRSA can then enter the bloodstream in this fashion.  But the antibiotics appear to have it under control.  Hopefully, Dad is coming to the end of his medical odyssey in a positive way and may be released to sub-acute care.  And our Senior Editor is hoping that he does not have to be a Hospital Nomad much longer - again in a positive way. 

Revised/Updated: 11/23/2010



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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Huggle

Bee Beard 2 image licensed under Creative Commons by Max xx

Huggle: The VERY unfortunate conflation of honey and smuggle.  Some executives have actually been charged with the allegations of honey smuggling and tainting it with antibiotics*.  One might be tempted to conclude that now the honey supply cannot be trusted much like the egg and dairy supply...

Can you imagine what the agency phone call was like? Riinnnggg: Hello, Special Crimes Unit, Bee and Honey Division. Actually, when that phone rings it sounds like a buzzing bee...

FOM: * US Indicts 11 Executives with Honey Smuggling (from BBC News), Honey, Honey Bee (from Wikipedia), Smuggling (from the Wikipedia), Memorandum from Senator Chuck Schumer on Honey

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Spontaneous Creation or The Big Splat

Image licensed under Creative Commons by MikeLicht, NotionsCapital

Spontaneous Creation or The Big Splat: According to the great Dr. Stephen Hawking, the creation of the universe occurred absent the presence of a god or goddess*.  Therefore, (not sure if we are quoting him or the BBC News) the creation of the universe was spontaneous.  We also (here at the AZD) now refer to it as "The Big Splat" (relative to the Big Bang) - kind of like a paintball or an egg being splattered against the fabric of space time.  And, there you have it!  But the godless creation of the universe seems somehow meaningless and purposeless.  One can only imagine a cartoonish god (like the Seth McFarlane god of 'Family Guy' or the Terry Gilliam god of 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail') splattering a great egg against the wall.  And where did the wall come from?

However, the argument could be made that absence of a Creator at the beginning does not rule out the existence of the same...

Incidentally, we can't wait for the great Stephen Colbert's take on this in his hilarious "Stephen Hawking is Such an *ssh#l@" segment.

FOM: *Stephen Hawking: God Did Not Create the Universe (from BBC News), REUTERS News Agency on the subject,  Anti-Time and SearchEdu.com on Spontaneous Creation

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Friday, January 22, 2010

Humzer

Image licensed under Creative Commons by Kecko

Humzer: Awesome conflation of Hummer and laser. New concept/technique to destroy IEDs. Witness the awesome power! Yeah, baby, yeah!


FOM: Laser Hummer Video (Wired – Thanks to @AnalizeThis), White Sands Testing New Laser System Weapon


Friday, January 15, 2010

MegaDisaster and Obama’s Heroes


Image licensed under Creative Commons by the United Nations' World Development Programme

Bit.ly (link for this post): http://bit.ly/5xj7I5

MegaDisaster and Obama’s Heroes: We think the Haiti 2010 Earthquake qualifies as what one could call a MegaDisaster. And the USA is right there with them. Fortunately, this is not turning into the debacle like the one we had with Katrina. Yes, its just taken literally two days for aid from the US - and all corners of the world - to land in Haiti.





The last three sentences of this paragraph have changed since we last posted. We did not want to appear ghoulish, but we thought the destruction of Haiti would reach a level of 200,000 fatalities, comparable to the 2004 Tsuanmi. Though this disaster does not (so far...we hope and pray...) present the loss of life as seen in the 2004 Tsunami. The loss of life is striking when you consider that it might be the equivalent of your hometown; like Grand Rapids, Des Moines, Boise, Yonkers, Modesto, Irvine, Fremont and on...passing in one day. Or 6.7 million US citizens passed in one day. Now that should give you some perspective on the current disaster...





Worse and sorry to say, this is only the first disaster of the decade. Is the next one happening now in Caracas? Having just been struck (close by) by a magnitude 5.7 earthquake. Or the magnitude 4.0 earthquake that struck Oklahoma about 9:18 AM today. Oklahoma?? Brings one closer to Haiti's woes, doesn't it?





Again, US Aid and others are mobilizing aid to Haiti. Which reminds us, our hero, Barack Obama, really did deserve that Nobel Peace Prize - didn't he? He wasted very little time in the Haitian call for aid. Shame, shame... Yes, the people mobilizing the aid effort and the people transporting the aid and themselves to Haiti are now heroes. You might disagree (like Rush...but, Rush has done some good things...), but some of them are Obama's Heroes. But, apparently, there were warnings...





And there should be wasting no time in getting aid and resources to a country like Haiti (or any other in desperate circumstances...). For god's sake, some of the poor folks have to live on dirt. They actually make cookies out of mostly dirt (which are bought and sold, for God's sake...) and they call them bon bon terre. They might throw in a little sugar, flour and some stuff that is actually edible. Haiti was a horrible economic and ecological disaster before the quake.





So why should you contribute and make that donation? Selfishness. That's right - selfishness. Because if you don't, they will have to leave their homes in Haiti and move in right next door to you. That's right. And, the image of one dead child should move anyone to tears.





And if the dead are left unburied, they will have to leave. Before the disease sets in. Diseases like typhus and cholera and God help them.


FOM:
Haiti quake toll 'may be 200,000'

U.S. providing relief to Haiti

US Stands with Haiti (COUNTDOWN MSNBC)

http://antizendictionary.blogspot.com/2009/10/instant-peace-prize-or-10-day-prize.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mega_Disasters
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_Haiti_earthquake
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_tsunami
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katrina_Hurricane
http://worldfocus.org/blog/2009/02/19/dirt-poor-haitians-eat-cookies-made-of-mud/4120/
http://worldfocus.org/blog/2010/01/14/us-prepares-to-launch-100-million-aid-effort-to-haiti/9242/
http://worldfocus.org/
Looting in Haiti
Scientists warned Haiti officials of quake in '08
Burying Haiti’s Dead
javascript:vPlayer('34881362','5bea6c96-c712-429f-a19b-513b4d732957')


Revised/Updated: Monday, January 18, 2010

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Hijra


Image licensed under Creative Commons by Michael Foley Photography

Hijra: In South Asia (Pakistan), now (legally) known as the third gender. Spotted one of these on a train with Anthony Bourdain on No Reservations (Episode 2-09, 2-10?...). Well, no, they weren't together...sigh, sorry Mr. Bourdain. Is there a 4th gender? Hugo: Yeah, you. AZD: Stop it...


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/7U1Qpy


FOM: Hijra

Hijra (visWiki)




Pakistani eunuchs to have distinct gender







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Sunday, December 20, 2009

Virtual Fidelity or Cyberfidelity

Image licensed under Creative Commons by myvirtuallady

Cyberfidelity or Virtual Fidelity: A rather strange - and possibly disturbing - case from Japan. Man marries his cybergirlfriend... To be faithful to one's cyberfriend to the extent of entering into the marriage contract with that one.
We wonder...since one is basically marrying a code or 'thread' - could it also be called "Codelity" or "Threadelity". The penultimate in mixed marriages? Pendelity?



Revised/Updated: Sunday, December 20, 2009

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Monday, December 14, 2009

Afro-American Heart Monitor


Image licensed under Creative Commons by knellotron


Afro-American Heart Monitor: First thing this morning, a little levity (and racism???). NOT A TERM OF OUR MAKING. This outrageous device was a new invention of Peter Griffin and his assumed leadership of Carter Pewterschmidt Industries. Seems the hilariously-out-of-touch-with-common-experience-bordering-on-solipsist-insulated-by-vast-wealth Carter never had a bachelor party (a totally alien concept to him...as well as friends...), so Peter decides to be a pal and throw him one. As a consequence, Carter suffers a heart attack, goes into a coma and Peter and Lois find a loophole in Carter's self-encyclopedic-coverall video-will allowing Peter to take over the company. The Afro-American Heart Monitor (being Peter's first new product) has two settings: Barry White and Bill Cosby. The latter being (naturally) the more hilarious. The device mimics Cosby all-but-perfectly, just falling short of hawking Jello-Pudding-Pops (How did you miss that one, Seth? Too retro?). Outraged upon waking out of his coma with the insanity-inspired thing attached to his arm et. al., Carter sets off the machine (and himself) plunging helplessly into hilarious machination and histrioncs of Cosby-like gurning. In our opinion, they could spinoff an entire series with the love-to-hate(ful) Carter Pewterschmidt, whose first and last name can only suggest the humblest of ironic beginnings. The episode climaxes in an homage-to-Scooby-Doo.


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/7IMB8P


FOM: Family Guy, Episode 9, Season 8, "Business Guy".





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Monday, December 7, 2009

Tiger Harem?

Image (Visual Pun) licensed under Creative Commons by Julep67


Tiger Harem?: A-Hem! We couldn't resist this one, normally its our inclination to resist celebrity news, but when it involves 'the-greatest-athlete-in-the-world-playing-today' well... Seems our man in question has unearthed a whole slew of easily-swayed misanthropes. Oh no, we're going to hell... This one keeps snowballing, errr...golfballing... (Ugh! We just looked up the definitions of the 1st term in Wikipedia. Ack...). No, no, we didn't mean it that way! See the photo, see the photo!

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/4TeGtA





FOM: Letterman Jokes Tiger Is Asking for Advice , Scoop: Legion of Woods’ alleged ladies growing , Tiger Woods Scandal Pictures: Exclusive , Jamiee Grubbs Photos You Haven't Seen, Meds Involved in Tiger Woods Accident?, Tiger Gets Bogeyed, SNL Tiger Woods Incident and ‘SNL’ can’t resist Tiger Woods jokes

Updated/Revised: Tuesday, December 8, 2009






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Thursday, December 3, 2009

Half-Assedistan (Plan)

Half-Assedistan: A satirical corruption of yesterday's definition posting re. the current Administration's Afghanistan plan ("Half-A-Province Plan"). No offense to President Obama... Heartfelt apologies and sympathies to all of those who have fallen or lost loved ones in this war...

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/69ky9D




FOM: Congress appears poised to back Obama war plan, 2009 US Troop Increase in Afghanistan, US President Obama delivers address on Afghanistan plan and Anti-war Leaders Blast Escalation of Afghanistan War




















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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Half-Province Plan (Afghanistan)

Image licensed under Creative Commons by isafmedia

Half-Province Plan: We hate to say it, as much as we love our President Obama, we don't see the point of sending 30,000 to 35,000 more troops to Afghanistan. That should be about 6 to 7 brigades - enough to cover about a half-a-province. Of course, we might be wrong about this, we hope...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Hyptis crenata

Hyptis crenata: The 'Brazilian mint tea' plant said to possess potent pain-relieving properties. CAUTION: Like some similar analgesics, might have a negative effect on stomach linings and other mucosal surfaces in the body.

Note: Flavor is said to be more like sage than mint.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/7ZFU2z

FOM: A cup of Brazilian mint tea can kill pain, study suggests

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

TerraStrong®

TerraStrong®: A foamed polyurethane product from Honeywell to keep our soldiers cool while in the desert. Thank you Honeywell.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/458d66

FOM: Army using spray foam to keep tents cool

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Horror-scope

Horror-scope: Alright, not a very original term, but one with terrifying new meanings. Seems this Sri Lankan astrologer has predicted the death or ouster of Mahinda Rajapaksa. Consequently, his own astrological projections are now predicting his own death by foul play!

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/1r7SuF

FOM: Mahinda Rajapaksa and Astrologer threatened over ‘horror-scope’

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