A dictionary/glossary/lexicon as sort of a cosmic, meeting of the minds, collaboration of the likes of Dan Webster, Sam Johnson, Ambrose Bierce, Hunter S. Thompson, Wm. F. Buckley, Grouch Marx, W. C. Fields and many more... even though its editors are obscure unknowns with dreadfully dangerous senses of humor. WARNING: This website may contain some slightly adult content - get parental viewing approval if you are 18 or under!

Showing posts with label a. Show all posts
Showing posts with label a. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Anti-Time

Image licensed under Creative Commons by pt


Updated: Thursday, September 2, 2010* (See Below)
Anti-Time: Is the unfortunate proposal that time will eventually come to a stop - and could even be due to consequences from human activity, engineering and science.  We got this idea from at least two sources: Ray Kurzweil and Star Trek: TNG Last Episodes(!).  (Yes, yes we were big fans of the TV series and occasionally view a repeat every now and then.) 

Our main reference is to the book by Ray Kurzweil - The Singularity is Near.  One of the propositions seems to be that computer speeds will continue to increase at an accelerated pace. 

One wonders if the pace will continue to the point where computations will literally exceed "light speed".  What if they continue to accelerate to the point where computations will become instantaneous?  At which point, time will become unnecessary (who ever thought that time was necessary?).  At which point, time's reality becomes obvious and even stops.  This might be the true singularity. 

At which, point time itself could implode upon itself and reverse.  Thus creating the phenomenon of "anti-time"?  Everything affected by time (the universe) would then reverse in time.  Except, of course, for certain sub-atomic particles!  The universe would literally implode upon itself in this gigantic reversal.  A sort of a "Reverse Big Bang" would then be created.  Could the universe start all over again?

FOM: The Singularity is Near (on Google Books), Wikipedia Link on Arrow of Time, Wikipedia Link on Ray Kurzweil, Glenn Beck's Interview of Kurzweil (!), US Military to Attack Moore's Law for Future Computers (from BBC News), *Stephen Hawking: God Did Not Create the Universe (from BBC News), Spontaneous Creation or the Big Splat and Time's Arrow from Google Books

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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

MLKvBeck828

Image licensed under Creative Commons by DonkeyHotey

Updated: Friday, August 20, 2010*

MLKvBeck828:  When we left Twitter (yes, yes, we did! - we deactivated our account which makes it even more difficult to rejoin!), the one "trending topic" that we contributed to might have been the DC Rally planned by Glenn Beck (and his one follower?) for August 28, 2010 (Which is a Saturday, by the way...).  The hashtag for the topic/event became the now-infamous #MLKvBeck828 topic

It was unfortunate that this date was chosen by Mr. Beck and his one lone supporter (?) for the date of his rally as it coincides with the date of the late, great Martin Luther King Jr.'s March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.  (Yes, even though this is a link to the Wikipedia page we urge you to visit it for its great External Links to the YouTube National Archives records of the march itself.)  Many tweeters - including ourselves, who view Mr. King as a prophet - saw this coincidence as an affront to the great man himself (Mr. King ~ not Mr. Beck) - perhaps even a racist affront. 

Apropos to the times, we tweeted some suggestions for preparing for The Rally, as well as making preparations for the G20 Protests which were happening in Toronto at the time.  Because some of our tweeps (Twitter friends) might still be planning to protest or counter-protest the 8/28 "event", we think some of the same preparations and precautions may be in order.  We will present some of those below.  Why?  Well, for one thing, the event does coincide with the day of the March on Washington of '63 - we expect many Americans to be insulted and will show up to express their outrage perhaps.  And by the way, there are still 40 unsold tickets to the Beck event!  HAH!

You may need some of the following items if you are a protestor or counter-protestor:

1) Handcuff Key  Please note: We do not approve, authorize nor endorse the use of these devices if you are under formal arrest by the police.  Once arrested YOU ARE OUT OF THE GAME.  However, the possession of the key does not imply resistance of arrest.  You should make it clear that it is for your own personal protection.  USE THE KEY ONLY IF YOU OR OTHERS ARE IN CLEAR OR IMMINENT PHYSICAL DANGER.  Fair use of the key is constituted if you are taken against your will by unauthorized persons or personnel. 

2) Nylon Tie Cutter   Once again Please note: We do not approve, authorize nor endorse the use of these devices if you are under formal arrest by the police. Once arrested YOU ARE OUT OF THE GAME. However, the possession of the cutter does not imply resistance of arrest. You should make it clear that it is for your own personal protection. USE THE CUTTER ONLY IF YOU OR OTHERS ARE IN CLEAR OR IMMINENT PHYSICAL DANGER. Fair use of the cutter is constituted if you are taken against your will by unauthorized persons or personnel.

Remember: Resisting arrest is a crime.

3) Spyderco Knife  Once again Please note: We do not approve, authorize nor endorse the use of these devices if you are under formal arrest by the police. Once arrested YOU ARE OUT OF THE GAME. However, the possession of the knife does not imply resistance of arrest. You should make it clear that it is for your own personal protection. USE THE KNIFE ONLY IF YOU OR OTHERS ARE IN CLEAR OR IMMINENT PHYSICAL DANGER. Fair use of the KNIFE is constituted if you are taken against your will by unauthorized persons or personnel.

IF ARRESTED YOU MUST BE FAIR TO THE POLICE AND AUTHORITIES BY ALERTING THEM TO THE PRESENCE OF A KNIFE OR OTHER POTENTIAL/ WEAPONS ON YOUR PERSON.  IT IS YOUR DUTY TO DO SO.  If you do not commit to this clause, you may be sanctioned by your internet community.

One other potential use for the Spyderco knife is that they have been reported for the use of cutting through seat belts.  This tool is also a potential life saver for persons trapped in a vehicle in a dangerous and life threatening situation. 

4) Copy of the United States Constitution.  Oh, we don't know, we just think it might be handy to have ~ or provide you with something to read if you should be in jail...

5) Gas Mask This should be obvious.  You will need it if the authorities decide they need to toss those canisters!  It will be worth having one just to see Mssrs. Beck and Palin having to don theirs - if they have one....It should be comical if Sarah and Glenn have to fight over who gets to wear the gas mask!  That should really give Becky something to cry about!  Also, an old remedy for tear gas is to urinate (we know, gross) on a handkerchief or other piece of cloth or linen.  This should then be placed against the mouth and nasal openings to prevent the effects of the tear gas.

Speaking of which, the Sarah Palin DIY mask might make a great fashion statement at the Rally!  Go team!

6) The Family Jewels You should consider having a cup just in case something should strike you in the groin - by accident or not.  You too ladies!

7) Body Armor Might come in really handy should things get really ugly...Serio, babe.

8) Head and Facial Protection If you decide to wear a Redskins helmet, just tell everybody without one that you're a really big fan!  But, seriously, you shold consider wearing a helmet.

9) Tear Gas or Mace: Might be illegal to have this on your person.  Not Recommended!  But, if you are in a jam, and without police protection, these could be lifesavers!

10) Life Jacket  Might come in handy if somebody decides to try and drown you in the reflecting pool...

11) Baton For police personnel only, but like (9), might come in handy in a pinch...  NOT TO BE USED AS AN OFFENSIVE WEAPON.  INFORM THE POLICE IF YOU HAVE ONE ON YOUR PERSON AND YOU ARE ARRESTED!

12) Portable Police Radio Might come in handy if you have to alert them to a dangerous situation!  Might also come in handy if you need to stay in contact with your group!  Of course, you should not forget your cell phone this day!

13) Identification: You might not want to forget it this day!  Think about Arizona...

14) NO FIREARMS!  None at all!  Do not carry at the Rally!  Forbidden!

15) Safety glasses or goggles Might be a good idea, too.

16) If we left anything out, you might want to consider the writings of Saul Alinsky or George Hayduke...or Hunter S. Thompson...

That all said, we hope you found the links informative or at least entertaining.

While we are still on the subject of Glenn Beck, you should catch the BookTV program about Common Nonsense: Glenn Beck and the Triumph of Ignorance by Alexander Zaitchik.  We found Mr. Zaitchik to be humorously petulant - even prickly - while discussing his book.  But, who can blame him?  He said that he had spent about a year wallowing in the "works" of Mr. Beck.  We got the sense from him that he considers Mr. Beck to be a truly alarming and dangerous individual.  Which causes us to warn you even further to carry some protective gear (mentioned above) should you be daring enough (or foolhardy enough?) to visit the Rally on 8/28/2010.   The Q&A session with Mr. Zaitchik was very good - those are usually a crashing bore if you catch the wrong BookTV program - if you know what we mean...  If we recall correctly, one of Mr. Zaitchik's main arguments is that Mr. Beck does not need Fox News for the increase and spread of his empire.  Despite all the vaunted advertising losses and evacuations from his program, he still has a $30 Million/year or so empire.  Apparently, Mr. Zaitchik does not see this stopping anytime soon.  You can find out more about Mr. Zaitchik at his website.  You might be able to find more at AlterNet.org.  (You might also want to see Mr. Zaitchik's commentary against Twitter).  Despite Mr. Zaitchik's attitude about Twitter and his apparent discomfort on BookTV, we think he is an important and rational voice and you might do well to heed him and his thoughts.

Oh! And there's more Beck news, see the Mother Jones Front Cover story in the July+August 2010 issue "The Golden Fleece - They Trusted Glenn Beck to Protect Their Nest Eggs.  He's Laughing All The Way ToThe Bank" (page 24).

If we left anything out, please comment!  Or please use the quick links below for a quick comment!  Thank you.
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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Snorting McChrystal?

Snorting McChrystal (or) Snorting Rolling Stones?





Updated: Saturday, August 21, 2010*



OK, the whole media world is talking about the sucker coup of Wikileaks (Bravo for them!) and their revelatory Afghan War Diaries leak/s.






The leak took place on or about July 25, 2010. And blame or responsibility has already been assigned to some, sorry to say, low-level US military personnel. A-Hem! Excuse us! Did everybody miss something here? Including The Daily Show and The Colbert Report?






What are we talking about? Hellooooo.... Didn't the US/ISAF General in Charge of the Afghanistan Operations/War just get sent down the tubes about one month ago? Speaking of tubes, is everybody in the media snorting "McChrystal" or some other finely powdered crystalline Class I narcotic? (Sorry, we apologize for the drug/humor reference/s, we know it is in poor taste).






Why did everybody else miss this? Does the world have ADHD? Is Mr. Derp now running Fox News?






Not to mention, therefore, isn't this all a result of that sh*tty tirade reported by Rolling Stone just this summer/spring? You be the judge.






What else is funky about this relationship? We're not saying the general had anything to do with the leaks, but the events are pretty closely related in time. A little too close.






And, when some top guy goes down for something - they sometimes like to leave behind a little 'Position Paper' on where their major activities stood prior to their departure? Is this all starting to sound familiar? Helloooo...






Does anybody remember Abu Ghraib and what happened to all the low-level torture clowns involved there - and then the commanding officer. You do remember the sequence of events in that scandal, right? Ahhh, we detect the odor of the same order of sequence here...






Not to mention, we did have a look at the reports that appear on the Wikileaks website. No, we haven't had time to read all of them. We're still sorting through the Pentagon Papers for G*d's Sakes! But, it is starting to look like the Pakistan-Taliban-US$ connection might be a little overblown. Only 4 known reports appear in the journal concerning finance from Pakistan or anywhere. As far as "hits" (assassinations) go, those were probably in all likelihood funded by the Taliban (with money from Pakistan or from poppy money - its hard to say for sure...). There were something like 48 reports on hits.






We have distilled some of the more "important" categories of reports from the Diaries and listed them below. Approach with caution. We did this in case Wikileaks runs out of funds (again) or gets mysteriously shut down and disappears... Meanwhile, our list, enjoy...










Oh, and something else, nothing shows you are winning the war like the number of enemy surrenders. Ahem, we have FOUR of them. Oh, and reported Food Distributions and Counter-Terrorism attack numbers were also weak; 4 and 1. ONE counter-terrorism attack? That "War on Terror" is going really swell isn't it Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney?



(Oh, don't get us wrong - we love our troops and support those that do honorable service and some not so much, too).

Number of Assassinations reported in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 48



http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/assassination_0.html







Number of Attacks reported in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 2283


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/attack_0.html







Number of Ambushes reported in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 538


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/ambush_0.html







Number of Counterterrorism Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 1


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/counter_terrorism_0.html







Number of Drug Operations Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 8


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/drug_operation_0.html







Number of (Enemy) Finance Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 4


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/finance_0.html







Number of Food Distributions Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 4


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/food_distribution_0.html







Number of IED Ambush Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 350


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/ied_ambush_0.html







Number of IED Explosions Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 7202


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/ied_explosion_0.html







Number of IED Found/Cleared Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 8581


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/ied_found_cleared_0.html







Number of Mines Found/Cleared Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 396


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/mine_found_cleared_0.html







Number of Mine Strikes Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 321


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/mine_strike_0.html







Number of Murder Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 100


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/murder_0.html







Number of Willing Recruitments detained Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 1


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/recruitment_willing__0.html







Number of Poisonings Reports (attempted) in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 1


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/poisoning_0.html







Number of Enemy Sabotage Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 6


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/sabotage_0.html







Number of Enemy/Unknown Surrenders Reports in Wikileaks Afghan War Diaries: 4


http://wardiary.wikileaks.org/afg/sort/category/surrendering_0.html





Please note: This posting appears simultaneously on our sister publication The American Political Handbook

*FOM: False Charges Made Against Mr. Assange?


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Friday, April 9, 2010

yPad or WhyPad

Image licensed under Creative Commons by d!zzy

yPad or WhyPad: Facetious suggested nickname for the first version of the Apple iPad - socalled due to the WiFi connection issues for some of the new owners.  Also with reference to the apparent near total lack of physical connectors.  Indeed, if you can't connect this device one way or the other - why buy one???

FOM: Connection Issues Still Vex iPad Users and Official Site

Please Note: Not that we could ever be bribed should Apple ever give us an iPad then this definition might disap...

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Eisenia fetida or Amicabiliter vermis


Eisenia fetida or Amicabiliter vermis: Literally smelly (fetid) composter (worm) or social worm (from the Latin - the second name is suggested only).  Species of worm capable of social behavior and group decisions.  Atypical of assumed worm behavior demonstrated by this little animal.


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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Tiger Apology

Image licensed under Creative Commons by mugofcoffe

Tiger Apology: So, Tiger will be making a public apology today.  No questions please!  Looks like he'll finally be exercising a little ball control.  Should have kept his eye on that ball...  OW!  Giggity!  All right...

What does he have in common with Sarah Palin?  Well, he'll be using his hands a lot and controlling the media...  OW!

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/doU5Dq

FOM: Tiger Woods set to break silenceRepentant Woods sorry for affairs and Save The Tiger (Blog Post not the film...)

Revised/Updated: Friday, February 19, 2010

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Friday, February 12, 2010

602 or Captain 602


602 or Captain 602: Suggested citizen code* for anything having to do with being against the Tea Party, Sarah Palin, LBGT and/or Racism.  From the controversy revolving around Captain America Issue 602.

*Police Code 602 = Deliquent.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/c1Jmdz

FOM: Marvel Comics' depiction of anti-tax protesters inspires anger, apology and Captain America and The Falcon

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Karmor or Crymor


Sea Snail image licensed under Creative Commons by ART LEWIS

Karmor or Crymor: Suggested conflation/name for a new type of super-protective armor based on that of the deep-sea snail Crysomallon squamiferum from the Kairei Indian hydrothermal vent field.


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/4E0Jbh


FOM: Unusual Snail Shell Could Be a Model for Better Armor #Science Daily








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Friday, January 15, 2010

Add6 or 2010+6

Add6 or 2010+6: Suggested name for a kind of mobile phone 'glitch' that adds years to the timestamp on a message, making it look like it came from the future.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/7VdAwd

FOM: Glitch sends texts from the 'future'

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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Y-155


Humorous image licensed under Creative Commons by enahmason

Y-155: Name for a star that became so hot about 7 billion years ago it generated antimatter within itself and caused a great matter-antimatter explosion.


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/4Emre5


FOM: Runaway Anti-Matter Production Makes for a Spectacular Stellar Explosion





(1) University of Notre Dame (2010, January 5). Runaway anti-matter production makes for a spectacular stellar explosion. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 6, 2010, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2010/01/100104151933.htm





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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Superatom


Image licensed under Creative Commons by distopiandreamgirl

Superatom: A cluster of atoms that can "mimic" the chemical behavior of a rarer (translation: expensive) atom or element.


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/8d6nxm


FOM: Superatoms Mimic Elements: New Materials?





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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Monday, December 14, 2009

Afro-American Heart Monitor


Image licensed under Creative Commons by knellotron


Afro-American Heart Monitor: First thing this morning, a little levity (and racism???). NOT A TERM OF OUR MAKING. This outrageous device was a new invention of Peter Griffin and his assumed leadership of Carter Pewterschmidt Industries. Seems the hilariously-out-of-touch-with-common-experience-bordering-on-solipsist-insulated-by-vast-wealth Carter never had a bachelor party (a totally alien concept to him...as well as friends...), so Peter decides to be a pal and throw him one. As a consequence, Carter suffers a heart attack, goes into a coma and Peter and Lois find a loophole in Carter's self-encyclopedic-coverall video-will allowing Peter to take over the company. The Afro-American Heart Monitor (being Peter's first new product) has two settings: Barry White and Bill Cosby. The latter being (naturally) the more hilarious. The device mimics Cosby all-but-perfectly, just falling short of hawking Jello-Pudding-Pops (How did you miss that one, Seth? Too retro?). Outraged upon waking out of his coma with the insanity-inspired thing attached to his arm et. al., Carter sets off the machine (and himself) plunging helplessly into hilarious machination and histrioncs of Cosby-like gurning. In our opinion, they could spinoff an entire series with the love-to-hate(ful) Carter Pewterschmidt, whose first and last name can only suggest the humblest of ironic beginnings. The episode climaxes in an homage-to-Scooby-Doo.


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/7IMB8P


FOM: Family Guy, Episode 9, Season 8, "Business Guy".





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Friday, December 4, 2009

Elastenna

Elastenna: The portmanteau of elastic and antenna. New technology used to develop a flexible antenna. We would have used the term common to synthetic rubber - but the notorious people (of which there are some...) in that industry don't deserve the credit. Credits do go to the good people of North Carolina State University.

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/7dcIIl

FOM: Bendy antennae could reshape electronics and Advanced Functional Materials (Nov. 23, 2009).

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Unfortunate Ad Campaigns and Concepts

USA Curling image licensed under Creative Commons by Eric Kilby

Unfortunate Ad Campaigns and Concepts: Will be devoted to this space. First Example: USA Curling has idea to raise money and awareness before Games: sell condoms